No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
