Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
