I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
