my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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