i was rollin on her like bob the builder
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
