At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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