i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
