Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
