69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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