Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
