i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
