everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
