Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
