Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize