oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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