Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
