Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
