Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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