her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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