If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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