ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
