don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If I die, sorry about rent.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
