gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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