Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
