Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
