Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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