..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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