I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
