i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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