i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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