Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
