i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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