Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
