remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
