you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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