if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
pray to the hookup gods
and you fell through a lawn chair
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
