We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
