I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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