is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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