oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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