Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I understand Curling. That high.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
