We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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