oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
