did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
