we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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