your room smells of hookers.
And success
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
