Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
