Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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