bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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