my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
