Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
