walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
