like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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