I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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