i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
