And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
