u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
