It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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