i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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