omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
