I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
