He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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