if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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