but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Randomize