Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I FOUND THE LEGS
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize