whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
