WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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