I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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